Thought Provoking Comments from 4/28/10

In last night's ladies class at Joelton, two comments were made which I feel need some particular attention and contemplation.

First, after some of us younger ladies were going on about how just the word "submit" makes us feel anger and bitterness, Nancy looked at us and basically said, "What's the problem?" She said it with an absolute pure heart, just trying to understand why we had such a visceral reaction to the concept. That moment has not left me yet. All I can say is, "I don't know what the problem is." I can tell you all my history, familial examples of women in my life, cultural icons who have influenced me, etc. But I cannot put my finger on why I don't want to follow God's plan for me in this area of my life.

In other areas of my life, I am perfectly willing to stand out from the world. We do not let our daughter wear provocative clothes, we do not let our children go to areas of the park unattended, we rarely let the children spend the night places, we homeschool. We do all sorts of things that people in our life sometimes think is "weird." I embrace those things. I am ok with my friends rolling their eyes at me when I say, "No, Marina cannot go to the playground without me." Why is it that in this one area I can't overcome my raising and just do what God wants me to do?

Next, Andrea said that she has a sketch at home of Jesus holding a lamb. Jesus has the lamb in his arms with its head over his shoulder. The lamb is resting peacefully, not flailing around and struggling. Andrea said that looking at that image brings her peace.  She wants that feeling.  She wants to be in the arms of Jesus, like a lamb protected by the Shepherd.  She is completely willing to submit to Jesus because it brings that level of comfort and peace.  

She then noted that submitting to those in authority is, in essence, submitting to Jesus.  It is the SAME thing.  She suggested that perhaps when we find ourselves in a situation where we are called to submit we should superimpose the face of Christ on that person and realize that we are not submitting to THAT person.  We are submitting TO CHRIST.  Wow. 

After voicing my feelings on submission for the past couple of weeks, I feel like I need to make it clear that I do not think I am just a constant pain to my husband and / or boss.  I just know that deep down inside of me there is this tiny little spot that is just mine, a tiny little speck that sits there waiting.  It's waiting for my husband to make what I think is a wrong decision for the family.  It is waiting for the elders to choose something for the church with which I do not agree.  It is waiting for the boss to have me do something in some ridiculous manner.  It then grows a little.  It is as if I can feel if taking on a life of its own wanting to well up and escape.  Intellectually I know that this is Satan.  I have never been drawn to alcohol or drugs or fighting or jealousy, but I can imagine that it must feel kind of the same.  Satan finds a tiny little chink in your armor and just starts picking at it, one little speck at a time.  Eventually what was a tiny little crack becomes a fissure which becomes a crater.  So this class and this study is a way for personally to shine the light on that speck inside me.  As Paula said, if I keep my sin in the darkness, it will just grow unchecked.  I want this speck in me to run and hide from the Light.  Thanks for accompanying me on the journey and hopefully you'll get something from it as well!  

Faith + Submission = Power - Joelton CoC Ladies Class - 4/28/10

This is a picture of the waterfall toad. He lives in South America and is the size of a postage stamp. This toad has no poison or strong back legs or any other obvious protective mechanism. When a snake or other predator comes around, it just leaps out into the air with only one goal in mind, escaping the predator. It has no landing spot already mapped out. It just leaps off into space from the top of a waterfall. You’d think at the bottom of the waterfall there’d be a pile of dead waterfall toads, but instead on the way down the toad puts his little legs out and grabs a vine or branch and catches himself before he hits the ground. When the toad leapt off the waterfall, he didn’t know which branch he would grab onto. He just knew that if he jumped two things would happen. 1) There WOULD be a branch and 2) he wouldn’t be eaten by the snake. I saw this toad on a Discovery channel program. I thought to myself, “Do I have as much faith as the waterfall toad?” I looked this guy up online and read an article by the producer of the program. He said in four days of filming never once did a toad not find a branch or vine to grab onto. Each and every time he found a branch to break his fall. Do I have that much faith, to believe that each and every time God will break my fall? I read an e-mail quote recently that said when you take a leap of faith either God will catch you or teach you to fly.

So let’s see if I can put my money where my mouth is…

Review: we learned last week that throughout the Bible everyone is called to submit in different aspects of their life – as a child, as an employee, as a wife, as a husband, as a citizen, as a church member, etc. We learned that a block to our willingness to submit is a sinful mind. The mind tells us that we don’t need to submit to be what God wants. It actually tells me the opposite – that if you submit, you are less of a person and less able to lead your family. We learned that some sinful thoughts that lead to rebellion include leaning on our own understanding, lack of faith in God, preferring my desires to God’s desires, and receiving our ideas about submission from the wrong sources. We combat a sinful mind by following 2 Corinthians 10:5 and taking hold of each thought and comparing it to a biblical truth and bringing our thoughts into submission with the will of God.

This week we are going to look at what happens when we have the faith of a waterfall toad, when we believe in our heart that if we simply take the leap that God will provide a branch for us to grab onto.

Does submission mean just giving in to whatever we are told by those in authority? Does it mean becoming a door mat and not having an opinion or any say in our lives?

Ephesians 4:14-15 – “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.”

I believe that this verse says the opposite of doormat. We are not being called to simply blindly follow authority without an opinion. We are called here to not be blown about by every wind or the craftiness of man. We are instead called to stand up and speak the truth in love under Christ.

So let’s say that we encounter a situation at work or at home where we absolutely know that we are right on a topic. There are times that I truly believe that my perspective is better and sometimes even that it is more like what God wants from my family than the position from my husband. What do we do in that situation? First, we speak the truth in love. Ok. So now I have spoken the truth in love. What if the boss, the husband, the President still persists in doing things his or her way even after you spoke the truth in love? What should we do?

We can choose one of two options – 1) continue to press the issue which will probably just lead to anger, bitterness, and resentment or 2) we can go along and listen to Philippians 2:14-15 - Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.

What?? Just give up?

No. We should just give it up to God. We should adopt the attitude of the waterfall toad and just take a flying leap!

Now, I don’t know about you, but this just goes against my nature. I am nothing like the waterfall toad. I want a roadmap of exactly how I am going to get down from the waterfall. I want to get online and make sure that is the best way, I’m going to need to call my dad and get his opinion, I am going to need to do some research to make sure the branch will hold my weight.

It’s then that I have to take hold of that thought. Who is more powerful, me or God? One of my favorite passages from the Bible is in Job Chapters 36-40. For four chapters, the Bible covers all of the things that God has done which I have no power over. When the birds lay eggs, how the lion hunts, where the tide ends and land begins, how a locust leaps, how the clouds hang in the sky. In Job 38:21, it says, “Surely you know, for you were already born! You have lived so many years!”

That hurts! Chapter after chapter, verse after verse about my insignificance and then throw in there a verse basically saying, “What’s the problem? You should know these answers, right?”

Obviously, God is more powerful than any of us could ever be. Yet I challenge His authority by questioning His plan for my life?

I have to have enough faith in God that even when I know I am right, even when I know my way is better than the one to whom I am called to submit, that He will resolve this. I need to give it up to God and take the leap.

One problem I have with that is that sometimes things won’t get resolved in my lifetime or even before Judgment Day. I need to internalize that when the issue gets resolved is God’s decision, not mine – Proverbs 21:1 – “The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.”

1 Samuel 15:23 – “For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, he has rejected you as king." More than likely God would fix my relationships, but I get in the way. I tie his hands with rebellion and stubbornness. I would be king, except for my rebellion and arrogance.

Really defying authority is as if I am saying this situation cannot be fixed unless I take over. It is incumbent upon me to recognize that it will be resolved on God’s time and in God’s way. He laid the foundation of the earth, I think he can handle my husband or boss – or even me!

Last week we talked about the fact that even Christ had to submit to something he didn’t want to do. He had to go to the cross despite the pain and sadness that he knew he would endure. He prayed to God: Mark 14:36 – “Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will." He submitted to God’s authority. Our salvation depended on Jesus’ submission. Have you ever thought what if someone’s salvation depended on your submission?

Let’s say that again – what if someone’s salvation, whether they spent eternity in heaven, depended on your submission to God’s will?

Let’s look at a legal analogy – let’s say you were wrongly accused of a crime and had to go on trial for the crime. You’re in court, the judge is there. The person accusing you is on the witness stand recounting the way you committed the crime. You yell out and defend yourself. The judge tells you to be quiet as he begins again to listen to the accuser. You yell out again. Now you are found to be in contempt of court and taken off to serve your sentence for that crime. Initially, you were innocent. You hadn’t committed a crime, but due to your rebelliousness and inability to trust that the situation would resolve itself, you are now guilty.

Another of my favorite passages in the Bible is in 2 Kings, Chapter 6. In this chapter, Elisha is assisting the Israelites in battle. He is telling them where the enemy will be waiting for them. The enemy finds out that Elisha is helping with battle plans. He surrounds the camp to take Elisha. A servant cries out to Elisha when he sees the camp surrounded. Verse 16 says, "Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." Elisha prays that the servant’s eyes will be opened. The servant looks again and sees the reality – the hills behind Elisha are full of horses and chariots of fire. Elisha had God on his side. The servant saw hopelessness and powerlessness. Elisha’s eyes were open to the reality that God was with them. I am nothing on my own. With God and in submission to God’s plan, I am powerful.

So do you believe that God could do anything he wants? If so, couldn’t he change the heart of the one in authority? Don’t you believe that God can change lives? This will be the test of your faith. This will be the moment where you decide that the words of the Bible are true, that God can and does change lives, that Jesus is alive. Are you willing to leap off the waterfall in the belief that God will provide a branch for you?

Our memory work for this week is 2 Kings 6:16 - "Don't be afraid," the prophet answered. "Those who are with us are more than those who are with them." I am going to encourage you this week to know that the hills behind you are full of horses and chariots and that you should have the faith of a waterfall toad and know that God will provide the branch if you are willing to leap. His plan is the right plan, we just have to have the faith to follow it and to let God do the rest.

***Next week we are going to look at the Garden of Eden and the beginning of submission.

Who is Called to Submit - Joelton Ladies CoC - 4/21/10

This material is primarily being used in a small group / Bible class setting. In Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life, he calls the readers who are members of a small group or class to make a group covenant that includes the nine characteristics of biblical fellowship: We will share our true feelings (authenticity), forgive each other (mercy), speak the truth in love (honesty), admit our weaknesses (humility), respect our differences (courtesy), not gossip (confidentiality), and make group a priority (frequency).

Our class was encouraged this week to look at Rick Warren’s fellowship characteristics and make a new commitment to exhibit those characteristics.

REVIEW. Last week we really focused in on preparing our hearts for this study. We looked at Luke 11:9 - “So I say to you, ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will opened to you.” We discovered that for us to be able to understand what the Scripture holds for us we have to ask, seek, and knock. This requires us to MOVE. The answers won’t be found under the Christmas tree. We have to ask, seek, and knock. Also, we talked about blame shifting and how that won’t accomplish anything. It will only get us what it got Adam and Eve – banished. That brings us to our memory verse for this week. As you may recall it was from Revelation 22:12 – “Behold I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.”

This week we are going to look to the Scripture to see who is called to submit. We will find submission is for everyone. Often when the topic of submission is brought men kick back and relax. Married women get tense. Single women zone out, thinking it is irrelevant. But this is all wrong. We are all called to submit in various facets of our life.

The word submit comes from the Greek word hupotasso, which means “to arrange in order under.” It is actually a military term requiring a soldier to arrange himself under his superior officer. One who is called to hupotasso has to arrange himself in order under another. Hupotasso appears several times in the Scripture and is not always translated as submit. Other translations include subordinate, obey, subject to, surrender, be weak, afflicted, humbled, and put under.

Submission connotes readiness to renounce one’s own will for the sake of another’s and to give precedence to others. It involves deference (polite regard for someone else’s wishes or ideas). Submission emanates from the subject. Submission is not the result of forced compliance. It is an action displayed from free will.

Here is a list of most if not all of the times hupotasso appears in the Bible and to whom it is referring. The plan is to cover these verses over the next few weeks. Our goal now is just to realize that submission applies to everyone, young, old, men, women, etc.

Everyone is called to submit to government authority.

* Romans 13:1-5

* 1 Peter 2:13-15

The church is called to submit to God.

* 1 Corinthians 15:24

* Ephesians 5:24

Slaves are called to submit to their masters.

* 1 Peter 2:18

* Titus 2:9

Women are called to submit in the church.

* 1 Corinthians 14:34

* 1 Timothy 2:10-1

Everyone is called to submit to those working for the church.

* 1 Corinthians 16:15-16

Women are called to submit to their husbands.

* Titus 2:5

* 1 Peter 3:5-6

* Ephesians 5:22

* Ephesians 5:24

* Colossians 3:18

* 1 Peter 3:1

Your spirit is in submission to your mind.

* 1 Corinthians 14:29-32

Everyone is called to submit or will submit to God.

* 1 Peter 3:21-22

* James 4:7

* Luke 10:17-20

Young men are called to submit to older men.

* 1 Peter 5:5

Everyone is called to submit to the authority around them.

* Ephesians 5:21

* Titus 3:1-2

The church is called to submit to the leaders (elders).

* Hebrews 13:17

Jesus submitted to his parents and to God.

* Luke 2:51

* Hebrews 5:6-8

A sinful mind cannot submit. 

* Romans 8:7

What are your feelings on these calls to Biblical submission? Are some easier to understand than others? Are some easier to comply with than others? Why do you think it is that we have rebellion against submission?

Romans 8:5-7 – Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so.

The things that I believe cause me to rebel against submission include:

* a lack of faith in God’s desire to help me – I know in my head that God can do anything. We read that He parted the Red Sea, He helped Sampson destroy thousands of Philistines, He led Gideon, He fed the Israelites in the wilderness, through the apostles He healed lepers, etc. In my own personal life, he brought me through childhood and into adulthood and provided opportunities. Just when I would think the end had come and I wouldn’t be able to feed my children, a job would come through. Even though intellectually I can review these things and know that this was God at work, it is so easy for me to revert to doomsday thinking that while God can provide for me, he won’t. This is my sinful mind leading me to distrust what I have read and seen in my own life.

* preferring my desire over God’s desire – there are many times that I just want to sit in my home and watch TV, read a book, play with the kids on Sunday morning or during other church function. I know that is not God’s desire. That is my desire. My sinful mind tells me that missing one church service will be ok. My sinful mind tells me that someone else will help run the fishing tournament. My sinful mind tells me, “You have a new baby. Let someone else do the work.”

* looking to the world for guidance rather than to the Bible – feminism, justice, equality. Do you think Jesus ever felt justice or equality on this earth? Why do I think I deserve better than what the son of God was given on earth? Because my culture tells me I do. My culture, media, advertising, the ACLU, etc. tells me that as an American I am entitled to certain things. I DESERVE to be happy, I DESERVE equal rights. According to Outback Steakhouse, I DESERVE a steak and a blooming onion!

* leaning on my own understanding – The truth is that in some areas I am smarter than my husband. There are many times I know more about my job than my boss does. Why should I have to submit to those who know less than I do about a topic? Then there are times when I just think I know more than those in authority. There have been decisions made in this church that I don’t like. I don’t see the wisdom in the decision. I have had to decide that the elders may know more than I do about the topic and trust that God led them to that position for a reason. Why haven’t I found it in my heart to say the same thing about my boss or husband? My sinful mind pipes up.

How do we combat a sinful mind? 2 Corinthians 10:5 provides the answer. "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

It is imperative that we become aware of our thoughts, that we consciously bring them before ourselves and compare them with the truth. We need to purposefully inventory our thoughts and see how they stack up against spiritual truths. This will require us to take a moment to be quiet and actually reflect on what our sinful mind is telling us.

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature--trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...We need silence to be able to touch souls.” -- Mother Teresa

Do you pay attention to what you are thinking? What strategies do you have or can you create for taking your thoughts captive and submitting them to Christ?

We see that everyone is called to submit to various people and to God. Our sinful mind prevents that submission. We combat a sinful mind by purposefully taking our thoughts captive and comparing them to biblical truths which can only be done when we take a moment to get quiet and pay attention.

Our memory verse for next week is 2 Corinthians 10:5 - "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

** Next week’s topic is what happens when we combine faith and submission.

Ask, Seek, Knock - Joelton CoC Ladies Class - 4/14/10

I subscribe to a blog that I have mentioned before. The author of that blog says that the blog is really a conversation with herself and we subscribers are welcome to join in. That's kind of how I feel about this class. The topics which I want to cover are things that I need to hear and learn. We will cover Scripture with which I need to become familiar. This is a conversation with myself in which I need you to participate. That being said, I, like Ms. Jenny, do not want this to become the Margaret Sherbert hour. I am banking on your participation and contribution. If this is to be a conversation about things I need to learn, then how better to learn than from those who have been down the road before?

Yet again, Nancy McCool’s name was drawn from those who turned in their memory work. She declined this week’s gift. We drew again and Bette Hagan won a copy of Jessica Seinfeld’s cookbook.

Our memory verse for the week comes from Luke 11:9 – “So I say to you, ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will opened to you.”

The things I want us to study are questions that I have about God and the Bible. Sometimes I think that God's word is so deep and mysterious that I cannot find the answers to the questions I have. Referring to this week's memory work will remind us that if we ask, it will be given, if we seek, we will find, if we knock, the door will be opened. That's pretty simple. But you'll notice that it requires an act on our part. It doesn't say think it and he'll provide an answer. It doesn't say he'll have it waiting in our inbox when we check our e-mail. We have to ask, we have to seek, we have to knock. We go to God, he doesn't come to us.

Question to class: how do we go to God?

Answer: Prayer is the proper avenue for going to God. There are tools and supplemental things that we can do to enhance our prayers. They include Bible study, Bible class, singing, meditation, etc.

Looking at our memory verse for this week: if you break down the verse, you will see:

Ask implies a simple petition, a wish, a request, a prayer and nothing more. You ask directions when you are lost. Asking gets you started in the right direction.

Seek indicates a search, a step above simply asking. You are adding a heightened level of diligence. Seek as if you have lost something of value. This requires getting up off the couch and actually hunting around for the answer, being proactive.

Knock shows perseverance in spite of hindrances. Knocking shows that even though a door is closed, you won’t give up. You will request admittance. Sin has shut the door and barred it against us. We must continue to knock so that the door will be opened.

Question to class: what closes the door to God for you?

Answer: Fear, embarrassment, laziness, over scheduled, selfishness, pride, low self esteem, anxiety, etc. SIN.

Ask, Knock, Seek. The three actions together represent earnest prayer. We ask for what we wish; we seek for what we miss; we knock for that from which we feel ourselves shut out.

So now that we know we are required to do something to receive the blessings from God, let’s do that! I ask that you think on the things we discuss. Read on your own. Let me know if there is something that I have said that you don’t think is a proper representation of the Scripture. I am learning as I go and may not always have it right. Most importantly, ask, seek, and knock in prayer for your heart and my heart to hear the words, know the truth, and act on it, whether we like it or not.

Speaking of the “or not portion” of that statement… The topic of this class for the next few weeks will be submission. I asked you to write down on these cards your feelings or definitions of submission.

I'll tell you my thoughts too. I was baptized when I was 12 years old. Even at 12 years old I had strong opinions. (Shocking – I know!) So as I grew up and into my marriage, I chose to politely ignore the verses relating to submission. I knew in my heart that if I started really looking at the topic and evaluating my obedience to it, I would come up short. I am a perfectionist. I want to be justified in my behavior. That's why I went to law school. I like being right.

So I went on ignoring it and I thought, my husband never reads the Bible and hardly ever comes to church. He probably didn't even know it was in there and if he did, he had so many things wrong with his life that I knew he wouldn't dare bring up submission. Then he was baptized and started coming to church fairly regularly a year or so ago. We were talking one day and disagreed about something. He jokingly said something like, "Well, you have to listen to me. It says so in the Bible." It was as if the world stopped spinning. I thought of Chris Rock. He said, "If you've ever been in love, you've contemplated murder."

Then I started looking into submission in the Bible and what it means. But, not so I could be a better wife. I hoped that it was one of those times when the first translators didn't know a better word to use and they just arbitrarily chose one. Then I could say to him, "Ha! I knew it!" But, no. So then I got bitter. Why would God do this to me and my daughter just because we were unlucky enough to have an X chromosome? Furthermore, why would God give me a brain with the ability to discern and analyze and reach decisions, if he didn't intend me to use it? What did he want from me? To walk ten paces behind my husband? To bat my eyes at my husband and see no wrong in his decisions?

Maybe you've felt the way I did about the topic, never even considering what it means to submit and then when finally forced to confront the idea - react with anger and indignation. Or maybe you're like the author of a book I've been reading on the topic. She gave in to every opinion her husband had never voicing an opinion of her own. One day her young daughter told her she was never going to get married because she didn't want to be mad all the time like her mom. The author realized that even though she was going through the motions, she didn't believe in it. She had a quiet resentment that was affecting her daughter's future.

Generally, our definitions and feelings about submission don't come from God. They come from media, culture, human perversion of the Scripture, etc. aka Satan. Satan degrades and devalues God's word, including submission and what that means.

Over the last 60 years there has been an ongoing masculinization of women. Rosy the Riveter got us started. The men were at war. The women had to go to work. Satan began working on us. Telling the same lie he told Eve, “You don’t need man. You can do just fine without him.” Compare that with the emasculation of man which you see every day when you turn on the television. There is a Cheerios commercial where the guy is reading the box and it says something about how Cheerios helps you lose weight. He says to his wife, “The box says Cheerios helps you lose weight.” She gives him a “What are you trying to say” look. She says, “What else does the box say, Steve.” He replies, “Shut up, Steve?” There is a Glade commercial where the husband is trying to figure out how to use the new air freshener thing. The wife walks through the room and casually pushes the button and gives the husband a look that basically says, “You’re stupid.”  This characterization of men didn't bother me as much until I had a son and I thought about his potential mates seeing this and how that would affect what they thought of my son, my smart, funny boy. 

So as we go through this study, we are going to look for God’s plan of submission and how that applies to us in our various lives, whether married, single, widowed, etc. Please try to keep an open heart and mind. We are going to try to overcome the rebellion that generally comes with the thought of submission, we are going to find out what it really means, who is actually called to submit, and what our responsibility is as Christian ladies at Joelton. As we go through this study keep in mind that you can only be responsible for yourself. You cannot make your husband, your boss, your elders, etc be responsible. Most importantly, you CANNOT predicate your obedience to God's word on someone else's action or inaction. In the Garden, Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent. What did that get either of them? Banished. The same is true for us. At judgment each of us will stand there ALONE. We will not be able to blame shift. The buck stops here.

Here's our memory verse for next week,

Revelation 22:12 – “Behold I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.”

This is your class, this is your life. Ask, seek, knock. Because you alone will be called to stand and answer for your actions.

*** Next week we are going to talk about who is called to submit.

The Interview

A few weeks ago I had to go to an interview with two attorneys from the county in which I live so that they could investigate my character and fitness for being an attorney. They had been given my information by the Tennessee Board of Law Examiners in advance, so they had plenty of time to review my history in depth. Just imagine that you had to write down every bad thing you had ever done, and then two old men get to quiz you on it. Even still, I didn't think it would be that bad because I was known around Ashland City and had interned with the DA's office, and a friend of mine said that hers was a breeze - five minutes in and out.

So I sat down at the table and the old man on the left said, "Ms. Sherbert, why don't you ever pay your bills on time?"

Wow. Off to a great start. I explained that I had been in school for 10 years and paying tuition on top of household bills and that my husband works construction, which can't be relied on, especially during the last year and a half. The attorney said, "So, are you saying that the recession put you in this position?" I replied, "Oh, no, sir. I have been late on bills for years. The recession just finished it off." He said, "So you think getting a law license is just going to solve all your problems and that your inability to pay your bills will just disappear?" I said, "Well, yes, sir, I do. This is not a lifestyle problem. This is an income problem."

I then had to explain the circumstances under which I left my last job, which weren't good.

Then the attorney said, "Ms. Sherbert, we have spoken to three people from your file at length, and they all have remarked on your intelligence and work ethic. They have all said, though, that you have one problem - your husband. They said he keeps you on a tight leash and that you'd be a better attorney and make more money if you didn't have him. Is there any truth to that?"

I took a breath and thought of Oprah. I remembered her saying once that she decided early on that she would NEVER cry in a business meeting, even if it meant she had to stomp on her toe with her own high heel shoe.

"Yes. I would make more money and be a better attorney without my husband, but he is my husband, he is the father of my children. I am committed to him and our marriage. Who wouldn't make more money and be a better employee without a husband or a family? So if having a family means that I lose out on income or clients, I'm ok with that. Whoever said that about my husband has a worldly view of the situation where money is valued more than relationships. I, on the other hand, have a heavenly perspective where relationships come far ahead of money."

At this point I didn't know how they would take that answer, but it was the truth. I could have chosen any number of responses - turn against my husband and agree that he was baggage keeping me from great riches, act indignant and refuse to answer the question claiming a right to privacy, run from the room crying.

Many people to whom I have told this story have said they would have been indignant. I rarely feel that way about my life. I feel that God has given me these opportunities and experiences so that I can share them with others. They can feel comforted to know that there is someone who has gone through the same things, or, at the very least, they can walk away and feel thankful that their life isn't as crazy as mine! Also, I am excited by any opportunity to pledge allegiance to my family and husband. It's kind of like I'm allowed to talk about my sister, but don't you dare talk about my sister.

After I told these two attorneys how I felt about my family's impact on my career, the older attorney who had been doing the questioning said, "You know, when I was a child my mother and father fought like cats and dogs. I look back on it now as an adult and I know I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I would not have wanted them to be apart."

Then the other attorney who had been mostly silent this whole time leaned forward and said with conviction, "And really, it's nobody's business anyway."

And that was that. They said they would recommend that I be admitted to the practice of law and that if I ever needed anything, just call and they would do what they could to help out.

At the moment the attorney asked the question, I thought this might be the worst thing I had had to endure for a law license. Today, though, I look back on it and think it was actually the most positive thing that happened. I left the interview feeling uplifted and thankful. God has given me a really great family, even with its idiosyncrasies, and the ability to think under pressure, to come up with a thoughtful, honest statement of my life. He had also sent these two little, old attorneys to interview me (instead of the cookie cutter interviewer my friend had gotten in Metro) so that I could get some perspective and appreciation for what I have.